What a girl wants

Someday we’ll know

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

click on the top words for navigation.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

10:29 AM

羅志祥-愛轉角

我偽裝著不露痕跡的
想在你身邊靜靜的陪著看著天邊

騎著單車往前行遷進
某個路口愛在等著

你往前走不回頭看了
記憶的笑臉緩緩的敲著我的琴鍵

我不捨得讓你孤單單的
我愛你的心牽掛著

一直想跟你說幸福不再溜走
在下一個路口幸福哭著說

心不再拼命躲不去害怕結果
下個路口你會看見愛有美麗笑容

愛轉角遇見了誰是否不讓你流淚
愛轉角以後的街能不能有我來陪

愛轉角遇見了誰是否不讓你流淚
也許陌生到了解讓我來當你的誰

我不讓愛掉眼淚不讓你掉眼淚
現在永遠你就是我就是我的美

心不再拼命躲不去害怕結果
假設有個以後你會怎麼說

一直想跟你說幸福不再溜走
下個路口你會看見愛有美麗笑容

愛轉角遇見了誰是否有愛情的美
愛轉角以後的街能不能有我來陪

愛轉角遇見了誰是否不讓你流淚
也許陌生到了解讓我來當你的誰
我不讓愛掉眼淚不讓你掉眼淚
現在永遠你就是我就是我的美

愛轉角遇見了誰是否有愛情的美
愛轉角以後的街能不能有我來陪

愛轉角遇見了誰是否不讓你流淚
將寂寞孤單作廢讓我來當你的誰

我不讓愛掉眼淚不讓你掉眼淚
現在永遠你就是我就是我的美

musicvideos streaming movies

super super nice song!!hahaz n super nice show too!!anyone with this song must send me!:)

5:31 AM

just some random thoughts...

been just thinking away n i came to this conclusion that sometimes people just say things without really thinking through or just say things impulsively..was on the bus on my way home then i saw this couple whispering sweet nothings to each other..n i just got this thought that 10 years down the road..will they still be so lovey douvy?or seriously..will they still be together?or will they meet 10 years down the road, each with another gf/bf..or in these 10 years, how many different person will they say all the 'i love u's to?

but don get me wrong...like when people told me about all that sweet stuff their bf did for them, i will still go ORHZ!!SO SWEET!!! for them..n i still hope that theirs can really last forever and their bfs can give them happiness no other guy can..

hahaz i am not emo-ing btw..i am happy with my life right now..with all the friends n company i have..n i am super glad that they will listen to me rant or whine..i will just die without all these ranting outlets man!!n rahz!!school's starting n i dun noe what have i done the entire week!!

on a random note..

i went to type on yahoo hoping to find out whats the term to call people with the condition that has super good imagination that they start to think that what they imagine is actually reality..

but rahz..still dont know wat the disease is called..

pretty!!:):)

but i guess..there is always exception to everything..n yup yup..n maybe i shd listen to jo..

yays!thanks for listening to all my nonsense!!n i miss you to bits n pieces!!thanks for being there for me through my ups n downs..y muz u be stuck in the ulu-ated ntu!!i miss all those CJ days where we will wait for each other at the bus stop..n just talking nonsense before class start..or all our letter writing days!!i swear!e next time i meet u i am gonna write ya a letter or sth :):):)

Labels: randomness...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

8:02 AM

shit....i am like damn addicted to blogging nowadays!which is damn damn freaking bad!

had an ultra unproductive day today...
n i bought 0 stuff today!!
so is a doubly sad day!!

if u look damn closely..there is a smiley face there!

is annoying how one small thing can spoil ur mood totally!
is like i was supposedly happy cuz of sun n mon
but the thing just spoil my mood totally
n i cant zi high anymore..

my sis dragged me down just now
we were like trying to set fire using dried leaves n twigs but it failed...as expected
n i guess is really true that as you get older you really become more coward
took me damn long to light e lighter can
n i felt damn loser-ish
n we played stupid games like trying to see whose candle can last the longest
n i guess that u are right..before i can protect the fire i need to protect my hand first
grr!!

n i really think that i am damn loser
cuz i cant even light a lighter properly
cuz i cant even hold a candle without the freaking wax dripping onto my hand
cuz i take damn long to answer their pri 6 maths question
cuz i get irritated by their nonsense easily
cuz i fall down even when walking on flat ground
cuz of what happened exactly one year ago
cuz i only remember sad/annoying/angry stuff n all my happy moments all get erased off easily

******
taken from one of the emo unposted entries from one year ago...

is because of you..that you make me realised how fake human can be..n how most people are nice to you as they have ulterior motive..u made me a fool for so long..n u taught me that being strong and indifferent is the only way to ensure that you do not get hurt..you made me live in a period where i really hated myself and felt damn disgusted with myself for being so stupid..n how because of u that i was stuck in a deep well..n there were times that i really hated myself to the core..n because of u i cant face some people..n i just give up on everything entirely..
******
i am so glad that i am outta that emo stage and i can even post this up now..
although i cant totally forget but at least i have moved on from it
n thanks to u i have learnt...

damn nice song which xiaomin sent me!!:):)

If the hero never comes to you
If you need someone you're feeling blue
If you wait for love and you're alone
If you call your friends nobody's home

You can run away but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I'll show you there's a destiny
The best things in life they are free

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone
Who cares for you
If you're feeling sad
Your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh, let me know
There's a place in heaven where we'll go
If heaven is a million years away
Oh, just call me and I'll make your day
When the nights are gettin' cold and blue
When the days are gettin' hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone
Who cares for you
If you're feeling sad
Your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone
Who cares for you
If you're feeling sad
Your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

What real love can do
What real love can do
What love can do
What love can do
Love can do

******
as much as i dun believe in love, this song is still very beautiful!!
n like in all fairytale, maybe one day i will find my prince too!!:)
one that can do random stuff with me, take a million photos, watch the sunset with me!go zoo!fly kite!picnic!
n i need a knight that can protect me!!:):)
hahaz see!!!another of my loser-fiedness
i am getting to be a desperado man!

but when i think of commitment, endless quarrels, high expectations...
YUCKS!!no thanks after all..

but oh well..i am ok already!finished moping around!i just wanted to rant off to the whole world!!but anyways on a positive note! i finished my part on the marketing project..so i am less loser-fied!n i finished like 2.4k words of my econs essay!!n i am gonna read some south asean readings!! :):)

looking forward to the rest of the week!!!beams!!

lala...n lets all go to mugger land n mug now!! :):):):):):):):)

Monday, September 24, 2007

10:34 AM

I think tt i am falling in love with red stuff!!!

8:49 AM

i felt like a trespasser today.
the back gate was open and i went in to get a glimpse.
but before i went in the 'all trespassers will be handed over to police' stared back at me
i tried hard to ignore the sign and i walked in acting like i belong there
but it failed
when i left the place i had a heavy heart
the place looked the same but it feels so different
it felt so bad that once i left the guard house i just swatted outside the place for like 10 min like some small girl
n coupled with what happened this morning this feeling just sucked
n i realised that people do change after all
n is scary when they change
n many things is really best kept to yourself
cuz when u reveal something private,
thats when you will get attacked

rahz
cant stand myself for blabbbering non stop
but i am really damn damn tramatised
******
it just hurts. full stop.

friends will not say this kinda stuff.
n should not say such insensitive stuff.
they will not use emotional blackmail.

full stop.

Labels: it just hurts.fullstop.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

6:34 AM

had a mini field trip today!!n it was great fun!!!:):)

wanted to go for my usual jog to the nature park but ended up trying to be more adventurous and venturing to somewhere else instead!so i headed over to salvation army and went in to check out their shop!!n omg!!it looks damn freaky!cuz is like there are alot of wedding gowns..those super old kind..

then i went over to Chestnut Drive, n i went past alot of places..

is quite funny how when i was young i used to complain bout the LONG distance i had to walk from school back to home but in reality, is like super near..i cant believe how much i used to complain to u in the past..n force ya to help me carry my bag..n i miss those carefree days..i feel damn spolit to think bout it..

and how my mum bought my those school bag with wheels which were so atas last time..n how we will wheel the bag to cold storage to buy food..or how it broke in the rain..

n i ran past the ulu ated pathway..the same pathway which u forced me to go but i refused complaining that is super long but seriously...it is a super short distance actually..n i remembered the times when i will just squat down n refuse to continue..or how i will find some random excuse and stop jogging..

n i miss my old pri school,the science garden, the fish tank, the old building, the hopscotch place..it is still the same place, but now with a new exterior, is pretty but i cant identify with it..i cant find a glimpse of familiarity..

n i stood outside the place..looking at the swimming pool..n i remembered the times when you taught me how to swim..n i struggled like siao n refused to let go of your hand..n i missed all your cooking..

n as you grow older, somehow, everything seems to look different..it is the same old place, but somehow there is sth missing..

next time i go there, i am going to find the mini mart and the playground..

if only i can turn back time, i will be less spoilt..i will thank you for everything that you have done..i will jog that extra mile with u..i will wake up every Sunday to go church..i will eat every single thing that you cooked..

when i was young, i thought that you will always be part of my life..n every time when you threatened to leave, i never believe you..but in the end..

it really hurts..my friend..you were part of me..part of my family..

n i hope that you will be happy wherever you are,
and the next time we meet..you will still remember me

for now..please do not forget to remember me..

******

on a random note
i realised tt i need to look at things from different perspective
i am trying
n i am learning

Labels: nostagia of the past

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

9:13 AM

i saw this damn pretty product on apples!!this is damn damn pretty!!!:):):)
n is freaking meaningful cuz apparently some of the funds will be channeled to medication for those patients with AIDS!!it cost like 348 bucks...n i can engraved some stuff there too..but oh well..kinda low on funds recently..not forgetting my stressful and depressing tuition!!

but like what i calculated just now..if we take into account a 5 day school week n assuming that i have no life n eat dinner at home everyday, n assuming that i do not snack so often..i can save alot of money..i can either buy the bee hoon plus egg which cost one buck..or yong dau foo with 6 ingredients which will cost me like 1.80 or if i eat either prawn mee/ba chor mee/chicken shredded noodles which cost 1.50..n assuming that i drink plain water or ok...to be more realistic..drink fruit juice (SMALL cup which cost 80 cents) then one day on lunch i will spend an average of 2.50..so one week will be 12.50 so one month will be just 50 bucks!!!n since i got no pocket money this entire sem...i will juz need to work my life off for the next few months to save up for it..

alternatively, i can just try whining and get some money from my mum to get it...which obviously..has a super low chance of happening!

therefore, my conclusion is that i should stop dreaming and start mugging!

Friday, September 14, 2007

10:30 AM

rahs!!so much for my promise to mug hard!!

but i completed my money n banking essay!

met up with my favourite people today to lunch at lerk thai..n seriously..this is damn freaking freaky..cuz i met tienkwan on e way to the canteen n she told me tt she is going to redraw money n told me to find cherie first..n e freaky thing is that when i reach e canteen...tk was already there sitting with cherie!!omg!!is like how can i be slower than her when she walk back the same way!!!not forgetting she went to draw money, meaning that she got to walk past me again on the way..but i never see her...n i cant explain tt..ok..maybe cuz i stopped to talk to victor..but tk did tt too...

n i still cant find a valid reason to explain such a freaky thing..

anyways..after the o-so-interesting singapore economy lect, went for the sep talk...n it was not useful at all..but oh well..i realised tt there is a high chance that i wun get it..since i think nus doesnt like me at all..but i will still try my best la..my mum really want me to go hong kong for exchange just for the sake of 'face'..but hk is really a popular choice so i dun think that i can get it n seriously..i would wanna venture furthere to really explore around..

n since e sep talk ended early..tienkwan kaiwei cherie remmy n i went to dinner at sunset way!!seriously..that place is far above our expectation..n i finally found the daily scoop place!!yummy!!:)e hong kong resturant there is not bad..n e price is quite ok too..shall upload the photos soon!!

n now i got like alot of nice songs in my itunes after coping from cherie n n kw!!:)

i need to mug seriously..i have like 4 mid terms can...haiz!!

******
there is no need for a clown to smile at all..
because of the thick make-up that they apply...
is not easy being a clown because they got to be happy all the time to entertain the crowd...
i wonder how can they be cheerful all the time...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

11:19 AM

oh to a more random note..all my links are ok alr!!is all workable already..html is so annoying..just one extra space or one extra letter makes a world of difference

n as much as i like marketing..i feel that sometimes people are just talking for the sake of talking..like REALLY REALLY...true..i admit that there is tutorial marks..n i admit that sometimes i also do that..BUT is like if you wanna talk for the sake of talking just to get participation marks..then at least..PLEASE dun go out of point can!!is quite annoying sometimes..the endless irrelevant argument..n how some people just wanna ACT smart and bring up points that are not relevant!n i feel quite ashamed about how ignorant we all can be with regards to current affairs!is like is quite embarrassing that people do not know anything about India or America and start making assumptions or asking stupid questions..esp the rural/urban part..made me feel damn ashamed for them..n also for me..cuz seriously..there is alot that we do not know..n being ignorant we may infer the wrong stuff..

tts y i should mug and go exchange..

ciaos for now!!still must wake up early tmr for subject pool!luckily my chinese kid agreed to change tuition to fri!can concentrate on my essay tmr!

10:25 AM

Just came back from Swan lake and it was totally freezing!!roars!!but they are all damn zai can..can ice skate and ballet n dance on ice!!totally amazing!!but i thought that it is quite sad as we wun totally appreciate it..It is like they do till too flawless that people may just assume that it is super easy n stuff..n half way through the show, i just started thinking like how can they make profits!when the expenditure for each show is really high..plus all the people they hired..n i just wonder..do they all get paid the same amount?or is there wage differential? (oh dear, i am starting to be like uncle Bing can!!)n omg!i am supposed to do my econs essay that is due on fri.n i totally do till i wanna puke!n blogging has actually turned my relaxing activity!sad reality of life man!i have no life!

n on a more random note: i am damn freaking upset that the squid thing is out of stock!roars!damn sad la..got a craving for that for a few weeks alr!yucks!settled for long johns silver in the end!sad life!

n on a more random note:
my mid terms are coming n i am not even on par with my readings!it sucks!is like i am trying hard to keep up with readings n assignments but all those papers that need to be due..it just suck up all my energy!

n on a more more random note:
i am still freaking upset that i lose my marketing tutorial!!gotta to rush it out in 2 hours in the end..but i spent like 8 hours on the original one!!yucks!n my marketing group is not quite ok..got like all the zai people like ben n remmy..too bad project only have such a low weightage

i saw this scene yesterday at the reading room:
there were two Korean kids there (and is really a lovely sight to see them as both of them are really young and the elder sister is super protective of the younger sister) The younger sis is really really damn pretty n adorable..anyways i saw e look in e older sis face n she is really yearning to get e attention of e father but the father is only focused on the younger sis(who is really really cute can!!)ok..this is damn random

Photos from long ago:

With uncle bing (I put this photo for ur sake can!!i look so ugly here somemore)tsk!

n i realised tt uncle bing is really damn deep la!!
anyways what he said on monday is quite right..
about time is not the only factor in moving on..but rather it is the people around n if there is any potential guys in your life
but oh well, at this point, sadly there is really no potential guys in my life
n it may sound damn loser-ish
but i am really happy about the status quo of being single (at least 90 percent of the time)

Remmy trying to act to act pissed!

Hairspray day!!
Good morning Baltimore!!

tk n me!!:)

All of us looking haps with our retarded barney hat!with Remmy at the corner trying to be inside the photo

Gelare day!!:)

Photos coped from MM Kee's blog!
Taken during gaming fiesta

All of us!!

Soon Leong never put up his ultra pretty photo with my ear ring n his flower!!!

Cherie n me!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

8:52 AM

Most of us..at the end of o week!!beautiful photo taken by Wei Chang!!his photography skills really rocks!!

End of Arts Camp after the Circle of friendship..
All of us Tired but Satisfied!

Cherie n me!!:):)
at eusoff hall
place with many memories!!
all the never ending debriefs..
all the never ending 'tonights'
all the bitching n gossiping n stirring shit!!
love ya deep deep!! :):)

Ah Leong n me!!
the one who will rescue me when i drown next time

n the one tt created the pledge!:)
We the students of O COM MUG TEAM, pledge ourselves as one united muggers. Regardless of Soci, Econs, Psyc or other arts subjects, based on cap score and A+(s), so as to achieve dean's list, chancellor's list and progress for our studies!

The lovely people in the arts camp comm!!:):)

Zhimin n me!
thanks for helping me out for o week!!
much appreciated!!:):)

Amanda cherie n I!!:):)

8:25 AM

omg!!i am like blogging constantly again!!blogging is really like a cca/relationship of some sort..is like before you blog you always feel damn lazy n stuff..but once u start to blog you realised tt you actually kinda enjoys it n the words just flow out easily..

all the modules are really tough this sem!!even the exposure that i am taking, south asean, is like so boring n dry!marketing is by far my favourite module can!!e lecturer is just so damn bimbo can!!is like damn omg!!is like in e middle of a lecture she will just point to someone n ask : ' so i guess you are from Bangladesh right?" or like " you are from engin right?you got the engin face!" omg can!!i swear tt one day she is probably gonna get killed by someone that she offend or sth..but she is really damn funny n bimbo la..n all the econs module are just tough!!cant imagine how am i gonna get B+ n above for my macro!!stress man!!roars!!

But i shall really mug hard!!really wanna go exchange and try aim get that scholarship! but with the OCBC loan thing, it seems kinda ok afterall and maybe i can venture outside Asia after all..

really bored in the middle of south asean lecture so we went to check out the arts club election thing..was not as exciting as i expected..or maybe because i dun know them personally..but mm..shall not really comment on them..n yays!!we are gonna have a full o comm outing soon!!

n to my dear loyal friend!!
dun worry!!everything will be fine ya!!i will be your lawyer or sth!!n all of us will help ya through this!!if need help just tell us!!!n we will definitely be there for all e bitching sessions!!

just treat me a nice meal in your atas demptesy hill place!!hehe or maybe mm...your mum's tea will do la!!:):)or just hairspray ost also can!!

n on a sidenote!!
we must go exchange together k!!you ask for ur mum's secret recipe then we go there n sell tea to cover our living expenses k!!:):)n we have not officially mugged together yet!!sucks man!!!

*******
saw someone tt really really look like you
n i just spend the whole time looking at 'you'
makes me wonder
will i ever have the chance to talk to you again
or to bump into you
n if i ever did,
what should i do?
what would u do?

on a side note, i am still a happy gal surrounded by many people that i heart deep deep!

n i wanna watch no reservation! :)

Sunday, September 02, 2007

8:15 AM

was supposed to meet xiaomin to mug today but oh well...

went to support Cherie in the gaming fiesta n basically there is nothing much to do except getting high over bingo n juz trying to be part of the crowd..getting high over nothing..but i realized tt suntec really changed like super alot..there are like much more food stores and everything..is quite scary how much and how fast things changes..maybe the only constant in life is really changes..

n we played some board games to keep ourselves occupied..n there is this game called the Ticket to Ride..it is really challenging n stressful..it is so hard to keep track of your moves and to plan your routes properly..is like life sometimes where you try so hard to plan your route hoping to achieve something but you end up misled or cant keep track of where you are going. Sometimes a random move by others may end up turning your life upside down and you got to think of a new solution to concentrate and to keep an eye to your aim in life..

n i realised that sometimes you may write alot of emo stuff making pple worried thinking that you are weird or may be harboring suicidal thoughts or sth..

but actually, writing down all these emo thoughts does not make u an emo person but rather, sometimes you just want your thought so be jotted down so that you will always remember some stuff..

****
one year..

n i think that i have finally moved on..
learnt to forgive myself for all the mistakes i made..
n i am starting to accept the imperfect me

for all that has happened..
i just learn from them and accept that it is my fault too

but thats all
full stop.
i will stop dwelling on them

n on a positive note..
it is because of all these that has happened that i became active in arts club
met a brunch of really great friends
all those silly moments we had are something which are all happy memories
even those difficult times has transformed to great learning experiences

so now i finally understand
that everything happens for a reason
n i believe that one day, i will have my own fair share of happiness
i just have to be more patient and stop thinking about bad karma
because in everything,
it is only human nature to fall
it is ok to make mistakes
but what is important is to learn to pick yourself up
and not make the same mistakes again
but even if you do,
learn to forgive yourself and you will realised that the world is made up of greater things

although there may be times when you may feel lonely or feel like breaking down
but just remind yourself that it is all a passing phrase

****
it feels good to be able to let go of the past..

Saturday, September 01, 2007

9:52 AM

just some random photos that i wanted to put up since ages ago...

Sandra and I at the Bash

Fireworks night!

me n Shimin at Padang on the rag day!

Juling n me!:)

O week comm!(well..still got some missing ones..)

yi-lin n me at he photo shoot place

Bash!!:)

5:45 AM

hahaz i saw like a million posts tt i typed half way but forgot to post..i will make sure tt i post this up..is more than a month since i last posted n lotza stuff happened :):) O week.. bash and all the small stuff that happened..holiday has ended n school has officially started!!sianness to the maz!!n is sad tt i never get to meet many of e pple that i really wanna meet..like my ij clique and my jc friends..anyways n e muggerfied season is back again :):) i am SO SO excited..with my mug team n everything..oh n hairspray was damn damn good..super glad i caught it..it was like another high school musical but much better..at least it had a real plot n stuff..was really a damn damn good show..n i still wanna catch Secrets!

n i finally met shimin after 928834759202045 years!n i still missed those times when we have a million things to say to each other...talking on the phone every night till the whees hours of the night..n when we will laugh at nothing and have a great time

i had a super long day on thursday where it was non stop lesson from 11-4 followed by tuition from 4-530 then lesson again n tuition right after tt till 10 30..n i really love e sec 4 kid tt i am teaching!she is really a daring i tell ya..not only she dun complain though i always change timing but she always give me nice food to eat can!!:):) n tt day she actually cooked dinner for me when she found out tt i have not eaten dinner not like the spoilt cheena kid tt i am teachin!

n oh n i found a damn nice place today near the botanical gardens..is called Dempsey hill or sth..n there are lotza posh restaurants there..super classy can..one day i am so gonna eat there!!

n so this day come n gone as per normal
n i guess..
the higher the expectation the higher the disappointment
n after all these i just wanted to say sorry
for all the bitter words used
all the mistrust
the childishness in me
all the questions left unanswered
all these could have been avoided
n now..it's at a point of no return

but at the end of the day,
i just hope that you really found your own happiness
n i was wrong bout you
because, i will always remember the happy memories

n i am sorry
because what i have done
i have chased you away
my friend

love is just an excuse to get hurt

had a talk with xiaomin just now..it has been ages since i last talked to her..n is funny because she made me feel that we have turned back time to where we left off..time seemed to have stopped n sadly, it was the same vicious cycle for her all over again..n this time, i realized, i do not know what to advice.

how true.. so i am gonna turn mugger-fied